Fantasy Casting: Freddy Krueger!
So as we learned yesterday, Michael Bay and his Platinum Doo production company are remaking Wes Craven's genre-smashing 1984 classic A Nightmare on Elm Street whether we like it or not.
So why not make the best of the situation and engage in some pointless fantasy casting?
Let's assume at this point that Robert Englund, who created the iconic baby-rapist Freddy Krueger in the original film and was able to make at least several car payments thanks to the countless sequels and spinoffs, which included several television shows and a mashup with Friday the 13th. Because if Hollywood can be counted on for anything, it's that it will fuck up a good thing. Is Englund too old? Hells no. But assuming that Bumblebee-bastardizing Bay and co. are going to recast for a new franchise and want a younger actor.
Here are my picks...
Not only is Glover a go-to guy for psychosexually disturbed mama's boys (Beowulf, Willard, Back to the Future), but he'll apparently do anything (Wizard of Gore, Epic Movie, Simon Says).
Cillian Murphy
He scares the living eff out of me.
Peter Sarsgaard
He's played a dead-eyed sociopath countless times, but now he's also a father. What better reason to add "kid killer" to the resume?!
D.J. Qualls
Come on -- this guy's creepy.
Tilda Swinton
Love you, girl. But you played a psychotic male Archangel so well in Constantine and the gender-flipping Orlando so well that I would almost rather see you as a man these days. Get dirty!
Okay - who do you suggest? Fuck, who are we kidding. It's going to be Chad Michael Murray.
Labels: A Nightmare on Elm Street, Fantasy Casting
posted by campbloodbuzz at
10:05 PM
8 Comments:
Ugh.
The only way that this could work, is if they present the tale in a whole new way - play it deadly serious, no wise cracking Freddy (sort of how Englund played him in the original). Then again, no, it will just be another waste of time and money.
Doesn't Wes Craven have any say in this?
As he created all the characters, you'd think he would retain some rights, but he was only listed as exec producer on DREAM WARRIORS and NEW NIGHTMARE ... so maybe he did sell the characters to New Line entirely. There are no credits thus far for the remake, but Craven is listed as producer for the SHOCKER remake and PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS 2. Because who hasn't been clamoring for those, eh?! I agree, playing it straight (like the TCM remake) is the only way to go.
I imagine they'll work some wretched technological angle into it to make it "edgier"... STRANGE DAYS meets THE RING!
See, most people see Cillian Murphy and get a little wigged because of Red Eye and Batman... I just think of an adorable Irish transsexual looking for her mother.
But I completely agree with your fantasy casting of Tilda Swinton.
OMG! People have to stop with the remakes already!! I am sooo freakin' sick of them all.
Absolu-tootin-ly correct that NO ONE can replace Englund, unless the personality completely changes. But then that strikes the question: Is that really "Freddy"? I say "NO way"!
They should just re-write the whole thing and make a loosely based nightmare-ish themed movie and let Crispin Glover get his freak on! At least that man can bring a distinct and strong personality to the screen, and hopefully make it his own.
Hey... maybe they should scrap Hollywood, and go with unknowns. American Idol seems good at finding "talented" freaks. They could call it: "AMERICA'S NEXT TOP NIGHTMARE"! :)
Why don't they just re-release all of these originals in the theater instead of remaking them? It's not as if today's horror films have made them seem pale in comparison.
Hell, throw in any previously-cut gore and you've got a home run.
I bet if they just tried it once, with the right film (this would be one), it would start a new trend. We would all be in our glory for at least a few years.
As for casting, they better use some of the originals. i'm pretty sure Miss Blakley isn't too busy these days. Bitch was wearing a sweatshirt with a Timberwolf on it last time i saw her at a con.
As for Nancy's dad, come on...duh.
Walton Goggins. That would be the hot (albeit a little high-in-the- brow) cop from House of 1000 corpses that looks exactly like a young John Saxon.
For freddy they should go balls-out and use a real burn victim with extra crispy skin (and all 11 secret herbs and spices).
i think i love you.
how about ryan reynolds, let's go for
a shirtless beefcake slasher. or if wisecrackings are in the mix, dane cook. oh do i need mental help.
A note: we created a website just to encourage and enable this kind of "casting" activity. Come over and cast favorite actors in your favorite fiction. If we don't have it, we'll add it. Take a look and join the fun!
storycasting.com
"for the movie in your mind"
I'm more or less keen on the notion of Cillian Murphy. He not only looks the part, but has been an albeit terrifying villain in a previous Craven production, so that caliber of experience would boost the performance.
Crispin Glover would also be a wise choice considering that he's around the right age, he can convey a plethora of emotion as seen in films like Willard, and if you look at the CGI Grendel in Beowulf, can you see the Freddy in there? Dammit Jim, I can.
I never really considered DJ Qualls, but damn, he's got Nightmare 2 Freddy's bone structure already, doesn't he?
In the end of it all, no one's going to give a flaming rat's sphincter on what we think. We're only the fans, right? Platinum Dunes will rape this film sideways and the entire Nightmare experience will be soiled upon. Nancy will probably be played by someone that's appeared in Maxim at least once, Mr. McFriggin' Woodcock Billy Bob Thornton will probably helm the razor glove, and seizures will probably ensue from a Nine Inch Nails lighting and trippy camera angle cocktail.
Hell, if they're going to re-do one, why not experiment with Freddy's Revenge or Freddy's Dead, for chrissakes? Plenty to fix, 'dere.
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