OMG please tell me you're watching "Scream Queens" on VH1!

I've been meaning to say this for a few weeks now, but I'm finally just getting the chance:

Scream Queens is the awesomest show in the history of broadcast television.

Seriously, this is what reality television was invented for, I'm convinced. In this competition 10 "actresses" subject themselves to a litany of horror-themed humiliations in order to score a highly sought-after role in Saw Whateverthehellnumberthey'reupto.

Being that this is a VH1 reality show, there's a lot of drunk girls passing out in limos:

But being that it's about horror movies, there's also a lot of white-hot bad acting, unconvincing screaming, and general unhinged amazingness.

I knew from episode one when I heard the words "Hollywood heavyweight Shawnee Smith" that this was going to be fucking awesome, but even I had underestimated just how batshit insane the girls that they'd cast would turn out to be. Jessica and Lina (who went home last night, thank GOD) are particularly loonytunes, but really there's enough crazy to go around.

Seriously, this shit is like honey-flavored crack nectar straight from the tit of Laurie Strode herself. I'm obsessed. I count down the minutes to 10PM on Mondays like it's my fucking execution date.

Right now former Nickelodeon child star Lindsay and kickass non-actress (which in this context is a compliment, trust me) Tanedra are my faves to win. I LOVE YOU CRAZY BITCHES!!!

Here's a clip from last night where director's challenge mentor James Gunn (Slither) calls dumbass Lina on the carpet for backing out of a girl-girl kiss.

• VH1 TV Shows
• Music Videos
• Celebrity Photos
• News & Gossip

The always-entertaining Rich Juzwiak is recapping the show over at VH1.com, so if you've missed the first 4 episodes please allow him to be your guide. Seriously, you're insane not to watch this mess!