Thursday, March 13, 2008

Buzz only has eyes for "The Blood Shed"

So here's a funny story: My picture is in the current issue of Rue Morgue magazine, as a part of their glowing review of The Blood Shed, the latest film from indie horror's glamazon of gore, Alan Rowe Kelly.

I posted some great set pics from the flick a while back and yes, I do appear in a few scenes of the movie as "the gay neighbor". As you can see from the pic above (you can click on it for a larger image, I think), things don't end up too well for me ... but then again, they don't end up too well for anyone, and at least I don't get my nuts sawed off with an electric turkey knife.

Anyway, you simply must RUN to the newsstands and buy every copy you can find, and make the appropriate closet shrine to the image of me without any eyeballs. And while you're at it, pick up the movie! I know I will, as soon as I can find the door.

And for the record, my birthday party last weekend was even more horrific than what you see above. More to come...

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Would you like to leave a message? We'll be sure that she gets it.

And you can make your own, too!

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Thursday, March 6, 2008

Happy Birthday to Me, Bitchezzzz

Tomorrow is my birthday and this weekend my dear friends Chuckie and Tintorera Joe (and others) are helping me to throw what is pretty much my dream birthday party. At this point we have an indoor Haunted Forest Disco Dancefloor of Terror, a dusty birthday party from 1981 (complete with fake cakes, corpses, cobwebs, and the like), a mad scientist bar, a hot bartender, and CAMP BLOOD counselor t-shirts (which will soon be available in the Swag Outlet, never ye fear).

There are also some FABULOUS horror vets on the guestlist and tons of super-fun people. I really can't wait. Wish all you sick fucks could be here to celebrate! I'll have pics and maybe even video to post next week.

That is, if I survive.... mwahahahahahaha!


Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Trailer Fabulous: Bad Biology, Shutter, The Ruins

Okay, this is absolutely NSFW and far more explicit than anything I've ever posted on this site, so be very careful about clicking the below preview for Frank Henenlotter's first film in 16 years, Bad Biology.

I love Frank's movies both because they're playfully sick and because they seem to feature hot naked men more than they rightfully should (particularly Brain Damage, which is one of my all-time favorites), and this movie is no exception. Prepare yourself for some hot shitboxes, lots of trim, and a few bathtub babies.

Next up we have the trailer for the US remake of Shutter, a clever Asian ghost movie from a few years back that I enjoyed (despite some J-horror cliches that are way past their freshness date) mostly because of a slight twist in the end that I didn't see coming. No idea if the American remake will pull the same trick, but it's worth a look...

And last we have the trailer for The Ruins, which I'm only including as an example of how NOT to sell a horror movie. I saw this trailer in the theatre and laughed, because it looked like a knockoff of Turistas made for the Sci-Fi Channel. But it's actually got some great selling points that are totally missing here.

For one, it's based on a novel by and has a script by Scott Smith, the author of A Simple Plan. Right away this tells me that it's not a throwaway teens-in-peril script. For another, it stars Shawn Ashmore (X-Men, 3 Needles, Wolf Girl), Jena Malone (Donnie Darko, Saved!), and Jonathan Tucker (TCM remake, The Deep End), all of whom have some degree of cred, particularly in genre films (and gay films). You'd never know any of these actors was in the film because you never see a face long enough for it to register, giving the impression that they're cutting AROUND the actors (which is never a good sign).

And lastly, it's directed by gay filmmaker Carter Smith, whose short Bugcrush has disturbed gay film fest viewers all over the place and who has collaborated with gay novelist Dennis Cooper (The Sluts, Frisk) on a film script. Needless to say, I'm checking this one out DESPITE the trailer below...

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Monday, March 3, 2008

And now I know how Joan Van Ark felt

"... as the flames rose ... to her Roman nose and --" ...

Oh, sorry, her Walkman and her hearing aid melted, not HER FUCKING FACE.

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