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CampBlood Homo Horror Features: So Readable They Hurt

 

Do Not Fold, Spindle, or Mutilate   1971

Helen Hayes, Sylvia Sydney, Myrna Loy, Mildred Natwick, Vince Edwards
A group of bored older women create Rebecca Mead, a fictional woman for a new computer dating service. The decide to make Rebecca 5 foot 7, with blue eyes and blonde hair (“If she only has one pretend life let her live it as a blonde.”). The ladies, who only want to read Rebecca’s potential suitor’s letters for a bit of entertainment, don’t realize that by creating the perfect woman, they’ve lured a possible killer (and definite woman hater) into their lives.

Do Not Fold… is one of the best lesser-known TV movies from the thriller genre. With a top-notch cast (Helen Hayes was nominated for an Emmy for her lively performance), and a smart script, it’s one of the more engaging movies to emerge from that period. Think of it as a precursor to the Golden Girls (with more violence). Four elderly females who basically take care of themselves (though two of them are married) and find creative (maybe not smart, but creative) ways to pass the time instead of idling their lives away sewing or doing other stereotypical elderly woman acts. In fact, one of the best scenes has Helen and Sylvia getting tanked during a card game. Vince Edwards is appropriately creepy and director Ted Post did the character justice by including a disquieting voice over so we can get a real look inside the mind of a killer. Helen Hayes and Mildred Natwick reunited one year later for the short lived series The Snoop Sisters. A must-see. (ed.: And Ted Post directed The Baby! Fuckin' A!)

Recapped by Amanda by Night

Special Features:
Telephone Harrassment; Old Broads; Creepy Inner Voices
Rating (out of 5):