I would like to thank the Academy … for letting Leprechaun into the Oscars

“You like me … you really like me!!”

In a bizarre synergy of glitter, booze, and Hollywood magic, last night happened to be both my birthday and the biggest night in show business, aka The Oscars, aka The Gay Super Bowl.

So imagine the WTFs that hit the ceiling at our Oscars viewing party (and the subsequent emails and Facebookings) when the people behind the clusterfuckiest night on Earth chose this year of all years to mount an ill-advised Salute to Horror Movies.

Here it is, although I’m sure it will be pulled in no time:

Seriously, whaaaaa?! It not like there was a horror movie nominated. There weren’t even any people who are famous for horror movies up for the big awards. And I take issue with the claim by Twilight chickie that horror hasn’t gotten its due at the Oscars since The Exorcist, because Silence of the Lambs is pretty damn grisly and really pushed the limits of a police procedural thriller (not to mention casual tucking). But regardless of reason, those 3 minutes of movie montage heaven did what no other force has been able to accomplish:

It got a murderous doll, a volcano of Johnny Depp’s blood, and Neve Campbell into the Oscars.

Hooray for Hollywood!

Seriously, if anyone can explain to me what the fuck went into the decision to feature my all-time favorite Final Girl – Ginny from Friday the 13th Part 2 – getting attacked through a window by Jason Voorhees in between segments about dolphin slaughters in Japan and modern dance tributes to Sherlock Holmes,  I’d love to hear it.

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Review: “The Crazies” (2010)

Timothy Olyphant is Crazy adorable

I just so happened that I watched Oscar hopeful Crazy Heart and bloody survival horror remake The Crazies in the same week. Turns out the movies shared a few similarities:

1. They are both serviceable B movies that adhere to a tried-and-true formula.
2. They are both set in rural dustbowls populated by a pleasant array of aw-shucksing good folk.
3. Despite their titles, neither is particularly crazy.

For more on the Romero remake, head on through the jump…

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Could it be that “The Crazies” won’t suck?

Radha Mitchell is Crazy good?

I didn’t get invited to a screening of The Crazies remake that opens today (I did have to suffer through a screening of the abysmal Cop Out, which sucked harder than a cabana boy at a Bryan Singer pool party), but I have had my doubts leading up to the release, for several reasons.

First, they’ve been aggressively promoting this movie for at least the last 3 years. Seriously – I’ve been getting almost-daily emails about the damn movie since the Bush administration and the television ads have been running for so long that I thought the movie already came out last year.

Second, it could potentially be another non-zombie zombie movie with lots of overcranked action scenes and crazy-acting and foamy mouths, and I’m a bit worn on that particular subgenre.

And finally, it stars Radha Mitchell. And while I personally ADORE the spunky Aussie actress, she has a pretty solid track record of being in genre movies that, even though they don’t actually suck, are complete and utter failures. (Cases in point: Rogue, Surrogates, Visitors, Silent Hill)

Seriously, I love the gal, I really do – but isn’t girlfriend our generation’s box office poison?

Anyway, due to these concerns it was a delight for me to read that my favorite horror-lovin’ homoJewnadian, Movieline’s Seth Abramovich (formerly of Defamer) actually liked the movie, which lends some unexpected promise.

How about you? Any chance you’ll be catching this one, or would you rather revisit the imaginative-but-kinda-boring Romero original?

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Campfire Tales: What’s your earliest horror movie memory?

Gather ’round the bonfire, kids (or shrine, or pile of burning diapers) – it’s Campfire Tales time!

This week’s topic dangles a stale Tootsie Roll out the tinted window of a van to your inner child:

What’s your earliest horror movie memory?

I’ll kick things off with mine, after the jump – and then it’s your turn! Bonus points for anything involving Vincent Price, vomit, or extensive therapy.

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To-Do: “Blood Panic!” Queer Horror Fiction Reading (NYC, 2/24)

Baby got bacne?*

Just got word of a fun event coming up later this week that might appeal to some of you New York City sickos…

This Wednesday (February 24) there will be an evening of “weird and wild horror stories as told by New York City’s queer literary avant-garde” at the Nowhere Bar (14th St.). It’s called Blood Panic! … and you’re soaking in it.

The event is hosted by writer Charlie Vázquez and will feature scary scribes Matthew K. Johnson, Pietro Scorsone, Roberto Santiago and Tod Crouch. There’s no cover and there will be cocktail specials until 9pm so drink up, mmmkay?

The madness begins at 8pm and it should be a hoot – do stop by if you’re in the nabe and tell ‘em Buzz sent ya!

*Note: This reading has no connection to Clive Barker’s Book of Blood but that poster boasts one of the sexiest backs I’ve seen in ages. And so handy for keeping your grocery list!

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