Campfire Tales: What’s the worst way to die?


Gather ’round, Campers – and grab something pointy for s’mores, ’cause it’s Campfire Tales time!

For this week’s installment of our insanely interactive group discussion feature, I’d like to discuss the most awful ways out there to kick it. Being seasoned horror vets, we’re all pretty well-versed in creative carnage … but in the end:

What is the worst possible way to bite the big one?

I’ll kick things off with my own worsts, and then I wanna hear from you!

christmasjaws4_shark_nsDid someone say “lunch”?

Buzz’s Worst Ways to Die:

1. Being eaten by a shark

Now, some people might find being eaten by pretty much anything to be a legitimately horrible way to die, but becoming chum for a great white is the perfect storm of awful expirations: It’s got drowning, giant teeth ripping you into pieces, and the existential horror of knowing that you are becoming sashimi for something bigger, meaner and possibly even more soulless than you (you can ignore that last bit if you happen to be a Jonas brother, Michael Bay, or the bartender from the Disironno ads).

Seriously, nothing scares me more than the thought of pulling a Crissy Watkins.

One more, after the jump…

carrie2“I’m gonna set you on fii-iire … ’cause it’s hot, ’cause it’s hot, ’cause it’s hot!”

2. Being burned to death at your own prom

Carrie White may burn in hell, but her classmates burned in the only place worse than hell: A high school gymnasium bedecked with half-assed prom decorations. OH THE HUMANITY.

Seriously, if anything could make having your own flesh curl and melt off your bones worse, it would be having it happen in the presence of Betty Buckley.

Now it’s your turn, bitches!

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About Buzz

Head Counselor Buzz created to give the horror genre's sassiest fans a place to bitch openly, clutch collective pearls, and have a laugh or two. It's the Rambles of the underworld! For more on Buzz, click on the "About the Creator" link at the top of the left-hand sidebar.