Poster Roaster/Trailer Trash: “I Spit On Your Grave” (2010)

Don't be fooled by the campiness of this poster.

In keeping with the current trend of taking a perfectly alright, content-to-be-sitting-as-a-DVD, “We’re aging – and we’re doing fine!” horror movie and churning it through the studio system, we now have an interesting morsel of remake: I Spit On Your Grave.

Not long ago, we were given the first peek at the poster for the remake. For many, it was a WTF moment, in that word of this remake has been relatively low and it’s pretty infuriating. However, upon seeing it, a (miniature) sigh of relief could be exhaled: it looks wonderfully campy – like Child’s Play 2!

It seems that, if one is going to make a remake of such a gritty film, why not punch it up with funny?! From the tagline (“IT’S DATE NIGHT”) to the seemingly hokey font choice, this film is presenting itself as a joke. Instead of tackling the severity of a triple rape/triple murder/single castration combo, they took a near-Scary Movie approach to the story. Sounds like a good call.

…until the trailer dropped, which does not promise ANY of the aforementioned.

Quickly, you realize that the poster was not making a joke: it was completely serious. “IT’S DATE NIGHT” is referring not to the fact that they have a funny date with death, but that the filmmakers are date-raping the original movie. The font is not to be confused with the one used for Fido but rather is a combination of the Psycho remake and 30 Days of Night. Obviously, they were trying to make it look like an edgier version of the original poster (font and all); but, strip the film of the exploitation, brashness, and actual edge and you end up on Shutter Island.

The trailer has confirmed that, yes, this is a self-serious remake like the rest. Our heroine this go-round is a nimble young minx who, probably, is just in her parent’s cabin alone on vacation or “rehab” (rather than an accomplished adult getting away to get work done). The unseen culprits are undoubtedly much younger, hotter versions of the Deliverance troupe. And, of course, the film looks like it will not stoop as low as the original because the producers are trying to get as many asses in seats as possible. Don’t be surprised if this is PG-13, people.

We should place bets on what actually happens and what actually will incite the character of Jennifer Hills to seek revenge. I am willing to bet it is merely a torture-pornworthy patty-cake romp with a dash of rape. Actually, just a sprinkling we don’t even see. And, as far as her revenge? It will be no holds barred torture that is not as graceful as Hostel and yet as self-serious as confession (which she goes to!).

So, gals and guys, where will you be on October 31, 2010? Not trick or treating, you sillies! IT’S DATE NIGHT.

Get with the program. Sheesh.

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A gay military kid who lived up and down the east coast finally decided to venture out West--and hasn't returned. With a love for horror films, champagne, short shorts, and CAPS LOCK, he spends his time writing, doing comedy, and being an assistant (oy). He has a dog and collects magazines with Lady Gaga on the cover, too.