The
Search String Report on Sorority Row
It’s been a while since I featured this fun frolic through
the diseased minds of my potential (and perhaps actual) readers,
so I thought I’d dust it off again. Yes, these are actual
search strings that real sickos like yourselves entered into search
engines like Google, Dogpile, what-haves-you, that somehow led them
to this site. I’ve listed some of my favorites below, as well
as my thoughts on what the flying unholy fuck they might have been
trying to find…
enema
marshmallows
Trust me, I have no idea what this person was looking for, or what
page on my fair site they may have been led to. And no, those aren’t
my Stay-Pufs under the bathroom sink.
singing
vagina
I’m assuming that this person was either looking for info
on Chatterbox, the singing vagina comedy featuring
personal hero Rip Taylor, or Willie Nelson.
Come on, just look at him upside-down and you’ll totally get
where I’m coming from.
sorority
girls slumber party massacre the musical
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!
dramatic
doorways with curtains
Bitch – in Curtains,
EVERYTHING is dramatic…
other
intern underworld
Scott Speedman's hospital buddy in Underworld
is totally Wentworth Miller, the *coughtotallygaycoughcough*
co-star of Prison Break. And I bet he’s seen
Dominic Purcell naked, the bitch!
can
a man s anus stretch to take a dog s knot
A man’s anus can stretch to take a whole dog, if you really
want to get into it…
golden
girls daughter
Lee Garlington!!
christ
did a cow shit in here
This is my favorite line from The Kentucky Fried Movie,
which I must have used at some point. Whoever this person is, call
me. We have china patterns to pick out.
where
are they now troll 2
Which mall food court are you nearest?
rob
zombie smells
Well, I’d never say that, as he'd likely cut off my dick and
feed it to me. But his movies
sure stink.
gassy
girl s with shits
Uh, what?
is
kyle howard asian
Let’s check – Kyle, do long-division in your head while
playing this violin. I mean, what the fuck?
random
shit to read when you re bored
Oh stop it, you sweet-talker! Flattery will get you nowhere…
how
did gothika get its name?
I pose a few theories here
– but ultimately, the movie’s gonna suck whether you
have the answer or not.
shawn
ashmore nude blood moon cock
Yes, Shawn Ashmore does full-frontal in the quite
watchable Canadian horror drama Blood
Moon (from Thom Fitzgerald, gay director
of The Hanging Garden), but it’s totally
not real – the point of the shot is that the character is
hung like a hamster, and let’s hope for Shawn’s sake
that they used a prosthetic.
man
eating dogs
I’m assuming they meant “man-eating
dogs”, not Fido al Filipino.
canadian
hairdresser magazine mirror awards 2006
I have no idea what this is, but I NEED TO GO.
wresling
fango men nude
This one’s hilarious to me. See, as much as I love a few of
the guys at Fangoria that I see regularly about
town, I really don’t want to see ANY of them wrestling, clothed
or otherwise.
blade
trinity hairstyle
All together now: “Just banged in an alley”. That one’s
getting retired soon.
dead
killer whale fetus
Orca!
Or did Star Jones miscarry? Oh, shut up…
cobbing
the corn
Either this is a sexual practice, perhaps akin to the Harmonica
Method, or we’re back in Troll
2 territory. Again.
vh1
s flavor of loves nude pics
You people are fucking sick. |