Fantasy Casting: Freddy Krueger!

So as we learned yesterday, Michael Bay and his Platinum Doo production company are remaking Wes Craven's genre-smashing 1984 classic A Nightmare on Elm Street whether we like it or not.

So why not make the best of the situation and engage in some pointless fantasy casting?

Let's assume at this point that Robert Englund, who created the iconic baby-rapist Freddy Krueger in the original film and was able to make at least several car payments thanks to the countless sequels and spinoffs, which included several television shows and a mashup with Friday the 13th. Because if Hollywood can be counted on for anything, it's that it will fuck up a good thing. Is Englund too old? Hells no. But assuming that Bumblebee-bastardizing Bay and co. are going to recast for a new franchise and want a younger actor.

Here are my picks...

Crispin Glover
Not only is Glover a go-to guy for psychosexually disturbed mama's boys (Beowulf, Willard, Back to the Future), but he'll apparently do anything (Wizard of Gore, Epic Movie, Simon Says).

Cillian Murphy
He scares the living eff out of me.

Peter Sarsgaard
He's played a dead-eyed sociopath countless times, but now he's also a father. What better reason to add "kid killer" to the resume?!

D.J. Qualls
Come on -- this guy's creepy.

Tilda Swinton
Love you, girl. But you played a psychotic male Archangel so well in Constantine and the gender-flipping Orlando so well that I would almost rather see you as a man these days. Get dirty!

Okay - who do you suggest? Fuck, who are we kidding. It's going to be Chad Michael Murray.