I liked Jason Beghe better when he was naked and being bathed by a monkey

Yes, the Monkey Shines hottie is back, and he's talking some major shit about Scientology, which is where he apparently vanished to for all those years after killing Ella with his bare teeth.

He better watch his mouth, or he's gonna find himself back in that wheelchair ... and this time instead of a monkey, he'll have Katie Holmes washing his paralyzed ass!

And now I know how Joan Van Ark felt

"... as the flames rose ... to her Roman nose and --" ...

Oh, sorry, her Walkman and her hearing aid melted, not HER FUCKING FACE.

We Are the (Blackface) World, We Are the (Blackface) Children

This isn't gay, and it isn't horror, but that doesn't mean that it is any less likely to make your brains run out of your ears in bloody rivers. Big ups to snicks for finding this shit.

Trailer Fabulous: Amusement, Midnight Meat Train, Prom Light

No, do not adjust your monitor, that does say "Prom Light", which is what I've decided to call the upcoming PG-13 remake of the classic film, which is being anticipated as breathlessly as a mid-dance toilet baby delivery. Let's get this thing out, wrap it in a tulle shrug, and toss it in the dumpster so we can get back to the punch and pie, shall we?

Anyway, I have to say that in spite of all this the first half of the film's trailer is AMAZING in its glorious banality. It's just knowing that we're not actually going to see any of these Laguna Peaches get splattered across the walls that makes the second half (wait, does the whole movie take place in a single hotel room?!) really disappointing.

Also included below are the intriguing preview for Valentine 2008 Amusement and the tease for the Clive Barker adaptation Midnight Meat Train, which looks way more awesome than I expected (Bradley Cooper and Leslie Bibb, what what!).

Friday Afternoon Videos: Looker, Gay Nightmare, and more!

Thought A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (The Gaypex of Horror Cinema) was as queer as it could possibly get? Think again!

She's a Lookaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Is it just me, or does this Gay Hulk MADTV character remind you of Perez Hilton?

Super-eerie video for equally-creepy song "What's a Girl to Do" by Bat for Lashes.

VIdeo: Finding meaning in tragedy, or just a bad joke?

And I'm not talking about interactive midnight screenings of Showgirls here, but rather the death of Heath Ledger earlier this week.

Hard to argue that the actor's untimely-as-all-hell death qualifies as a true Hollywood tragedy (despite taking place in Manhattan): he was extremely talented, young, a father, and by all accounts a very nice guy. He also had a knack for challenging himself in his work, which is a rare trait these days for A-listers.

So one the one hand this video is a bit icky, as it uses a single shot of the actor's (covered) body being gurneed out of the SoHo apartment (not M-K's!) in which it was found. But on the other hand, the point made by the added audio is a hard one to argue with ... and given Ledger's own unease with his celebrity, quite poignant. Probably only one step away from gallows humor, but at least it's a step with a point.

Cloverfield + Gay soap opera teens = ricockulous

Kiss New York City Goodbye

We took to the streets in support of the As the World Turns "Kiss Campaign" last week and ended up stuck in a Manhattan monster movie. These things happen when you leave Brooklyn, kids.

Review of Cloverfield forthcoming, btw. (I loved it.)